I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
