I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
