she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
