Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
