we have pet lesbian snakes
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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