What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
