just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
