I wannas sexs uuuuu
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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