good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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