Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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