he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
