idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
