Who did Billy Mays play for?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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