Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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