I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
