i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
