I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Mom said you looked used
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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