I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
