I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she looked like the before picture.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
