Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
