Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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