after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
