Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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