Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
