what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
