You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
