a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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