I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
