Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize