K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize