my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize