So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
