He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
