So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
