just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
