He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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