Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
