hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
