So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
