is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
