Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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