like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got inside last night via doggy door
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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