Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
