dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
