im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
