weddingsv make me drug and hornr
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
