i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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