it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
