Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
