I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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