He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
