i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize