You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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