Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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