If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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