i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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