never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
