The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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