I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
