just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
