come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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