Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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