went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
