just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Enjoy the penises
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
